Every Friday I serve as the liaison
and Spanish translator for the gentle chair yoga and meditation class offered specifically for the elderly diagnosed with arthritis. Each time we meet, the class is tailored to meet the needs of the participants. A woman who looked to be in her late fifties and had never attended this class before showed up one day and sat quietly and patiently waiting for class to begin. As class started, the instructor welcomed this new participant to class and asked the usual opening question to everyone: “Is there anyone here experiencing some pain today?” and this new lady immediately raised her hand. This simple question allowed her to open up about all of her chronic pain, both physical and emotional, and gave her the space to describe in detail, her miserable life, according to her. With the other frequent participants in class, the yoga/meditation instructor willingly dedicated the whole class to suit this new participant’s needs, and the other participants keenly
tried to assist her as well. This woman
continued talking about her past, which caused her to cry and remark that
nothing, nobody and no doctor, could cure her pain. The deepest pain seemed to be her feeling of
loneliness. I felt a sort of pain and
sorrow as I translated her story to the instructor whose Spanish is very
limited, realizing that this lady felt hopeless. Her story was heartbreaking as she had been
dealing with these feelings for such a long time. When the one-hour of class had passed and
class was dismissed, the instructor and I stayed with this woman and concluded
that she needed more help than what was within our capacity. It became apparent that she needed to see a
professional mental health provider because she presented various symptoms of
depression. As I tried to console her,
she started to tear up even more and after a fit of weeping, she finally found
her words again and said to me: “Thank you for listening to my story… to what I
had to say; no one has ever sat with me and listened to me for such a long
time, thank you, young lady, thank you very much.” The woman gave me a hug and left the room
with the instructor to see one of our social workers to get her the help that
she needed. I was left standing there
thinking to myself how much my presence meant to her. Although it did not seem like she was
listening to a word we were telling her, I discovered that she was absorbing
everything. Did I really say the magical
words to get this lady to feel better and cure her depression? Not quite; all I
did this afternoon was listen with compassion and respond gently. I was reminded on this day that the simplest
acts of kindness can make a big difference to others, even when we think that
we are not making a difference, we may be doing more that we give ourselves
credit for.
This
has connected to my overall experience here in New York, as I have been put out
of my comfort zone and have been forced to pay attention to details that I have
never paid any mind in the past. It has
caused me to think specifically on the little acts of kindness that can fit in
my everyday life. Like sharing a smile
with a stranger on the subway where many people crush into the train each day; where
everyone is afraid to speak to each other or simply say “Hi,” “Good morning,” or simply make eye contact. Sometimes, I get a smile back but more often I
don’t, but I still like to
see the reaction on people’s
faces and I wonder if they’re thinking that I’m crazy. I feel satisfied
when I succeed in getting a smile back. At
work, I greet participants with a smile and try to show my compassion for them
with simple statements, questions,
or comments. Most people would agree
that you do not necessarily need to tell someone “I love you” or “I like you”
to let them know how much you care about them.
You can genuinely say, for instance, “the other day I was thinking about
you,” “did you make it safe?,” “I miss you,” “I saw this and I thought about
you,” “how did it go today?,” “good night, take care.” I have noticed how simple words like these
can tell how much you care about someone and can make a big difference in
someone’s life. I have learned, and I am still learning, so
much about myself this year and much of my learning has come from my community
members. They have been great teachers
this year and I will always be thankful with each and every one of them for
being part of the process in helping me discover my own faith. As we all learn how to live and pass on the
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| Angelica (maroon jacket) at staff retreat |
Angelica Perez - Mercy Center Bronx, NY
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