Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Joy and Art of Listening


My second year of volunteering with Mercy Center started off with our biannual staff meetings in Hartsdale, NY.  Two of our three meeting days were spent with a facilitator who gifted us with practical yet powerful information on communication, collaboration, and creativity. Now, I know you might not expect to find the heart and soul of direct service at a staff meeting, but I was pleasantly surprised by how immediately I felt the effects of the skills and perspectives she introduced to us.

One of the techniques we covered was that of listening and paraphrasing. As elementary as this may sound, many of us were intimidated by the challenge to not only listen to everything that someone was saying, but also remember it and then repeat it back. This simple skill is difficult for many reasons. In today’s world there is always something more important going on and it usually has to do with ourselves. We are often distracted by an infinite to do list and ever impending deadlines. Additionally, as soon as anyone approaches us, our brains begin making assumptions about who the person is, and what they are going to say to us. It’s a natural reaction that helps us feel prepared for the situation, but it’s important to stop the mental chatter. Stop telling yourself that you already know everything about this person and what they’re going to say. Just listen. Clear a space within yourself and listen. Recognizing the available space to exist in, they will feel more welcome and comfortable. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just let them know that you are trying to understand. You want to know what they are thinking and feeling.

Hearing about and practicing these skills grounded me in a sense of presence and availability. I felt liberated by the idea that I don’t have to know exactly how to act or what to say. By emptying myself of preoccupations and misinformed assumptions, I can offer people the opportunity to be recognized for who they truly are, and allow room for divine providence to arise in the moment. These skills take focus, practice, and constant reminders about what is important, so I am looking forward to putting them to use throughout my year of service, and discovering the richness they provide. 
Elizabeth Bennett - Mercy Center - New York, NY