Time to Breathe

“Never be so busy as to not think of others.” - Mother Theresa

Ellen doing outreach for her service site, SafeNet

This morning as I am working at the reception desk of SafeNet’s office building, a place that is always hectic with calls, messages from staff, clients walking in for appointments, and donations,  I  am reminded that it is important to take time to breathe. Sometimes days like today can be overwhelming, so it is important for me to remember the quote from Mother Theresa that I carry with me, “Never be so busy as to not think of others.” Despite the fact that I may feel overwhelmed and that I’m bouncing from one thing to another, I work to remember  the importance of showing mercy in my every interaction with others.

 

To me, showing mercy means showing compassion to everyone I encounter. It doesn’t matter if I’m having a bad day. I need to remember that I can be a source of hope or a smile to someone who may be struggling. This is especially important to remember in my interactions with SafeNet clients. I never know if I will have ten minutes or ten months to build a relationship with someone. During the first moments when I meet someone new, I do my best to learn their name and to listen to them. Listening is a way I can show clients that they are important and that I care about them. Most of the time, the women I meet don’t know what it means to be important or to be truly cared for. They have been mistreated and abused by someone who they thought loved them. My interaction with them may be one that helps them realize that they really are worth something and that there is nothing wrong with them for what happened to them.

Back to taking time to breathe...it is important to remember to leave time in my day for breathing because I can become so wrapped up in my work that I become consumed by it. That’s what happens when you are truly passionate about what you do. The thing that can be difficult about this is that the stories the clients tell are heartbreaking and usually shocking. No matter how many times I hear a woman tell her story I can’t help but pour my heart out to her and her children. Even though 1 in 4 women will experience an abusive relationship in her life, each story is devastating. If I don’t remember to breathe and do something to take care of myself, I could become angry or frustrated with today’s world. Luckily I love to make music and art, and I love to write. These are great ways for me to breathe and to remember that things aren’t always as bad as they seem, and that there is always hope...even in the darkest of days!

Ellen Davis - SafeNet - Erie, PA

Ellen took a picture with Dora for the children she works with

They Were Only Human, After All

I jumped right in – feet first into the organized chaos of the Emergency Dept. Every day is different, but there is a pattern to this chaos – registration, triage, registration, room, nurse, doctors, and discharge. Some patients come in sicker than others; some days, the waiting periods can vary from a few minutes to as long as two, three hours. The day after an Orioles or Ravens’ game is usually terribly busy. I was learning fairly quickly from my observations and was assimilating quite well within a month’s time into my typical 9-5 shifts. To broaden my experience and to benefit the night nurses who have never been exposed to a volunteer, my supervisor asked me how I would feel working a later shift once a week: a 1pm-9pm shift. I was quite excited! I wanted to be used and at full disposal to the needs of the ER and was thrilled to see something different. She warned me though that the later shift operates differently than the day shift, but I wasn’t afraid. I wanted to make the most out of my experience. Besides, I like a challenge and this was supposed to be an adventure! Whatever the outcome would be, she assured me that if I didn’t want to work the later shift, then it would be fine, but we mutually agreed it would be beneficial for me to try it once. I started the following Monday.

Mondays are usually crazy, so the afternoon was nothing different from what I expected. As the day progressed into the twilight of dusk, I began to see how so very different the later shift operated. I found out I had to initiate to do things my earlier charge nurses would ask me to do. The staff were hyperactive and on their feet and ready. The waiting period for patients was progressing to about four hours. There were so many people in the waiting room! More homeless people were being pulled into the hallways for drug and alcohol intoxications. I was being pulled left to right, being asked when the doctor was going to see them, why some patients were not being called in chronological order. I could see that these patients were in a lot of pain and were getting pretty cranky. Some were rude and I had to keep my temper in check a few times! It was a lot crazier than I had imagined! It was so easy to tell my site supervisor the following morning that I didn’t want to deal with any of it… but I didn’t. On my drive back home, I thought about how this experience was changing my views to the clear, happy bubble I had built for myself. It was difficult, yes. It was trying, yes. Did I want to do it again? That’s a good question. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that just because I didn’t enjoy it the first time does not mean that I shouldn’t try it the second time around. I told my site supervisor that I would like to try it out again. She was a bit surprised, quite frankly.

When next Monday came in, I was ready. My expectations had adapted, and I was learning my way around. Sure, the patients were cranky as usual, but a part of me held some respect and appreciation of the diversity of the late night staff and environment. I like the fast pace, (I also enjoy sleeping in on Mondays!), and I had been developing a thicker skin in lieu to the acrimonious. Beneath the external vituperative shell of these patients lies the sincerity of an affliction that needed to be alleviated. They were only human, after all. In the spirit of Mercy, I need to connect with an open mind… nay, an open heart. =)

Marjorie Daria - Mercy Medical Center - Baltimore, MD